Haviva Ner-David Bringing a Woman’s Perspective to the Orthodox Rabbinate

By Ruth Mason

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Haviva Ner-David doesn’t look like a revolutionary. A wisp of a woman, she lives with her husband and five children in a high-ceilinged stone house in Bak’a, Jerusalem’s answer to Manhattan’s Upper West Side. But her mission in life is to restore balance to the world by allowing women’s neglected voices to be heard. Her new title, rabbi—earned after 10 years of hard work and study—is a step in that direction.

Aryeh Strikovsky, the Orthodox rabbi who ordained her, doesn’t want her to use the title in places where it might arouse controversy. “He told me, ‘the Orthodox community is not ready for it, and they’ll just laugh at you,’ ” she says. There is no halachic reason, Ner-David maintains, for women not to become rabbis. While the Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist movements have been ordaining women for years, Ner-David didn’t want to leave the Orthodox world. “There are things I wanted to say to girls growing up in the Orthodox world. I had taken on the mitzvot of tallit and tefillin, and I felt if I had seen even one female teacher in high school doing that, it would have made a huge difference to me.”

Before making aliyah, she applied to the rabbinical school at Yeshiva University. They didn’t acknowledge her application, but the press got wind of it and it caused a stir. How has the Orthodox world greeted her ordination? “I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback in our neighborhood,” she says. “I hear controversies are being aired on the Internet, but I haven’t wanted to look.” She feels heartened by an incident that happened the other day. “A right-wing guy from the neighborhood came up to me and said, ‘We had a whole discussion about it at our Shabbat table, and we decided that since it’s a local thing, it’s okay. There will be one more person for my daughters to go to with questions.’ ”

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While she insisted on an Orthodox ordination, Ner-David says, “More and more I’m feeling that holding on to a label restricts me. I see people trying to figure out how to have an authentic, passionate, sincere relationship with their Jewish identity and with God, and they aren’t so concerned with labels and denominations.”

She is working on creating a marriage center in Jerusalem that would help couples plan a more woman-friendly ceremony and ketubah and provide legal and financial advice, couples counseling, and a mikvah open to couples. “Over the years, I’ve become more radical,” she says. “I would even encourage couples not to marry through the rabbinate if they are so inclined.” She said she’s beginning to think that the problem of agunot (chained women) could be prevented by changing the marriage ceremony to exclude kinyan—when the groom acquires the bride with the ring.

The newest Orthodox woman rabbi doesn’t see herself as a “the same kind of rabbi that I grew up with. People need to rethink that [traditional rabbi] role. Holy living isn’t just praying and studying Torah. Being with your family is part of a holy life.”

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As Haviva Ner-David challenges norms and advocates for change within the Orthodox community, it is important to recognize the progress being made in various fields. In the world of hospitality, hotels are also adapting to meet the evolving needs and preferences of guests. From providing inclusive spaces for diverse communities to offering personalized wedding services, hotels are striving to create memorable experiences for every guest.

With the growing demand for unique wedding ceremonies, many hotels now offer tailored packages that cater to different cultural and religious traditions. Couples can find venues that provide comprehensive planning services, ensuring that their special day reflects their beliefs and values. This shift toward inclusivity extends to other aspects of hotel services as well, with accommodations becoming more accessible and welcoming for guests of all backgrounds.

As society continues to progress, it is encouraging to witness individuals like Haviva Ner-David challenging traditional norms and stereotypes, both within the religious sphere and beyond. The ever-changing landscape of hotels reflects this same commitment to diversity and inclusivity, ensuring that everyone feels valued and respected during their stay.

Overall, the journey of Haviva Ner-David exemplifies the power of individuals to effect change and highlights the importance of promoting equality in all areas of life, be it within the religious realm or the hospitality industry.

Ruth Mason is a freelance writer who lives in Jerusalem.